Uh, thanks Steam, I guess?

Steam said that my downloaded copy of Portal had a 303 million percent fragmentation rate? ... But then Steam defragged it for me, so it's 303 million percent better now.

The Digital Devil Made Me Do It

(Originally written December 4, 2003)

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.

- H. L. Mencken

Most of what you can find on the Net about how to make a bomb is available somewhere in a library and, candidly, if your child is down in the basement making bombs, the Internet is probably not the biggest contributor to that problem.

- Larry Irving, Asst. Secretary, NTIA

Last night I was flipping channels on the TV and I saw the news headline "Video game inspired warehouse robbery?" I didn't bother to unmute the TV or stop changing channels because (a) I already know what they would have said and (2) it just pisses me off. I know that this isn't new - many media and subgenres of media have been blamed for many things over the years. The Beatles were blamed for Charles Manson. AC/DC was blamed for Richard Ramirez, Catcher in the Rye was considered subversive, etc. And in my generation, Quake is blamed for Columbine and Flight Simulator is blamed for the World Trade Center strike.

The thing that kills me about the whole phenomenon is that the news outlets display such a blatant bias about the angle of the stories. Violent criminals are morally adrift to begin with. Anything could inspire them to do anything, but only the magic combination of "video game inspires violent crime" becomes a headline item on the newswires. If the crime is "inspired" by something else, that motivation doesn't make it into the headline. When a group of white men pummel a lone Arab on the street you don't see the headline "War on Terror inspires hate crime." And why don't we ever see the headline "News report on violent crime inspires man to commit violent crime?" I'd love to see the interview with the defendant:

"I knew I wanted to lash out at the world but I wasn't sure how. Then I saw an MSNBC report on arson, and I knew that arson was my ticket to manifest aggression."

I wonder if that quote would make it past the newsroom editor?

Time passes...

Just a couple days later, I found this tidbit on CNN:

Issuing its eighth annual MediaWise Video Game Report Card, the [National Institute on Media and the Family] listed games parents should avoid for their children, led by "Manhunt."

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/fun.games/12/09/warning.videogames.reut/index.html

Taken independently, that sentence is just ridiculous on its face. Then consider that the sentence is part of a "news item" from a major reporter and we're approaching ludicrous speed. Why is it ludicrous? Because, why would a parent buy a game for their child called "Manhunt" and not be concerned about the content? Never mind that the box for Manhunt has an ESRB "M" stamped on it, the NAME ALONE should be the tipoff! Allow me to create a parallel example:

Issuing its eighth annual MediaWise Video Game Report Card, the institute listed games parents should avoid for their children, led by "Orgy."

See what I mean? If I substitute sex for violence does it become more apparent? Do we need "institutes" issuing "report cards" advising parents not to do obviously dumb shit? Is this the world we live in? God help us all.

I have nothing against having watchdog groups monitor the video game industry per se. If one of these groups were to find, for example, that companies are using thirteen-year-old kids in focus groups testing M rated games, that would be great work. Go team. But instead they're wasting their time cranking out self-important obvious crap, and overlooking the notion that if parents don't read the box title and don't read the ESRB label, they're not going to read the institute's report either.

I want to found an institute that issues the annual "Report Card for Physical Safety" advising parents not to "shoot selves in the head" and not to "leap bodily into open flames."

Be Seeing You!

When I was in 2nd grade we got our first computer at home, an Apple ][+. One of the first softwares my dad bought to go with it was a game called "The Prisoner", loosely based on the Patrick McGoohan TV show of the same name. This was a very early game, a strange mish-mash of hi-res, lo-res, and text graphics.

One of the more distinctive traits of the game was that whenever someone "talked" to you - talking consisted of capital letters crawling across a window of lo-res block graphics - each letter was accompanied by ringing the computer's "bell" at varying pitches. I think they were going for some effect like the school teacher in Peanuts but the Apple's bell was better at making higher pitched sounds so that's what they used. The effect was like - well, like nothing else I can think of. If you ever had an Apple ][ you probably know what I mean.

Anyway, just like in the TV show, everyone on the Island ended their conversations with a cheery "Be seeing you!" (It was irony, see, because they were all prisoners on the Island - you're not going anywhere far.) Every conversation ended with "Be seeing you" and the pattern of the bells was always the same.

Every once in a while when I'm talking to someone in IM one of us will say "Be seeing you" and oddly enough the pacing of your average touch typist exactly matches the printing speed of that old Prisoner game. As soon as I start to see those letters I always always hear the bells in my head. I'm sure I'll hear them until the day I die.

Weird.